由於是用三姐電腦的關係，這篇所用到的將會是繁體字，但我想也不會怎麼樣吧？因為也沒有多少人會瀏覽、閱讀吧...
最近發生了許多事，我很想找人傾訴，但我的好朋友又碰巧這段時間很忙，我不想打擾她，所以選擇寫在這兒，希望這麼做之後心情能好一些...
先說第一件事吧。22-6-2012，星期五，我參加了即席演講比賽，很意外地獲得了季軍。它甚至讓我難以置信得與報告成績的司儀再三確認成績、興奮得流眼淚。那天，我老早就約好了我的好友與“他”到Mid Valley去逛街、聊天。本來這麼意外的得到這一個獎項是非常讓人感到高興、興奮的，然而，之後卻發生了一件足以破壞這種感覺的事...
那天...我對“他”...告白了...
當然，他的答復和我所預料的一樣，就是...No...
他很專一啊～還在喜歡着他一直都暗戀的那個女生。這件事我老早就知道了，但我仍舊選擇這麼做，因為他說他想知道...
他知道了之後並沒有什麼特別的反應，還說，我們能像以前那樣，繼續胡鬧。我有心事，也可以找他傾訴。
之後，我再也沒有看見他在FB上線，認為他因為忙而上不了線。直到有一天，他在玩FB遊戲的時候，無意中send了我一個game request。我才知道，他一直都在線上，只是選擇appear offline罷了...
他這麼做...是為了避開我嗎？
或許是我想太多吧...
今天，29-7-2012，星期日，距離那一天已經有一個月有一個星期多了，我跟他...
一句話都沒說過...就連最基本的打招呼...都沒有...
曾經，他在我最需要別人的陪伴、安慰的時候陪我度過。如今，我們卻比陌生人還要陌生...
人生，真的是百變的...
第一件事就暫時告一段落。第二件事呢，是與一個比我小一年，跟我關係密切，我一直當她像妹妹一樣看待的學妹有關係的。
一直以來，我和她都相處得蠻好的。直到最近，她開始對我冷淡，對我說話時帶點怒氣、不屑，之後還在FB上寫了一個超長的status。當時，我猜測那個status其實是寫給我看的，因為所她形容的跟我非常相似。27-7-2012，星期五，一件事情的發生證實了，我說猜測的，是正確的...
星期五的晚上，她在FB上主動找我聊天，以下就是我們所談的內容：
她：Hey, I think I owe you an answer right...Since we're close enough, I think I can tell you everything from the starting to the very end without any problems.Just tell me when you're free.
我：huh?
她：Remember you asked me a question two days ago and I didn't even give any respond on it
我：I knew that it was me... Feel free to tell me any time if u feel that it is a right time to do so...
她：I can already be honest to the one that I'm close to, so you too.I know it hurts you,SORRY~You never thought that I'll be talking about you like this right,we trust each other alot,you told most of the things in your daily life to me,so I must tell you those things that keep on spinning in my head recently
我：Ok. Just tell in the way that u feel comfortable with
她：you're not angry right?Or maybe you should
我：Just tell me what's going on first
- 她：I think you a bit mengabaikan other juniors' feelings
- So do the seniors,although they didn't really complain but I know them better than you since I'm always on duty with them.
- I think personal feelings shouldn't be added in works
- Can we talk through skype.
- 我：Like?
- Not really cuz my phone's skype have some problem and my bro is using the computer now
- Sorry她：hmm...you should pay same attentions to all the juniors
- 她：Nah,not a big deal for me.I can type using my phone
- And one thing,don't keep on repeating the same line in front of X1（代號）, about you're going to vote X2（代號） as the next ALK because maybe you don't understand her that well
- 我：Continue with your story
- Did i?
- 她：yes,you did.whenever we start to talk about the next ALK
- She's quite sensitive like me,you keep on reminding her that you're going to vote X2 as the next ALK,she will think about what for she worked so hard for Koperasi for the pass 20+months
- And try to communicate not only to one junior but others too,they're all the same.Don't judge a book by its cover.Some that we thought she'll be doing really bad turns out to be be better than what we'd expected and those we we expected to see their great performances ever since they interviewed turns out to be worse than what we'd expected我：Go on她：mostly is like that.Oh yeah,although you're ketua,I can't go against your will but let me tell you something,I don't think she can be the next ALK,she's showing quite poor performances whenever you're not here,this is a serious matter.我：Who? X2?她：yea.So I hope you don't see things through the surface,explore it and you'll see some other things at the inner side of one.I know you're elder and having more experiences than me but I just couldn't keep it to myself.Talking bad about you behind your back, what for?this is a serious matter,it involves the whole koperasi
- I think that's all.I'll tell you more if I remember anything that I wanna add on
- Recently you'd became more to the feeling side,you choose the one you like instead of the one that shows a really good performances.我：Example?她：what example do you want我：As in like... What have i done that made u feel that i follow my feeling to do stuffs recently?她：How should I say it...it's like you're very determined on your decision我：Well, i'm just asking. Have u ever thought that u MIGHT be misunderstood on this matter?
- 她：Maybe I was wrong but I hope this wouldn't affect our friendship.I still prefer our friendship,you know the talk nonsense, updating the latest news of your daily life, crapping all along the way's friendship
- Let's go for yuen yueng after my trials You belanja me
我們的對話就到此結束。
說真的，當我和她的對話進行到一半時，我的眼淚已奪眶而出...原因呢？
我想不到，我在她的心目中，竟然是那種跟著感覺走，不分正確與否，喜歡就做，不理會別人的感受的人...
對此，我感到很傷心、很失望...
她對於我沒有回复的舉動感到擔心，之後憑着對我的了解，對我感到失望的事感到內疚，還跟我道歉，但我仍舊沒有給予任何的答复。因為我實在不知道，該說些什麼，才是就最正確、最恰當的答案...
其實，她這麼做並沒有錯。我很感謝她肯對我坦白，向我道出一切，她只是想要反映自己的看法，並沒有錯。或許，我的舉動真的給了他們這種感覺。反而，錯的是我。是我自己接受不了，被自己情同姐妹的朋友這樣看待，才會有這樣的反應...
當然，我並沒有要結束這段友情的意思。然而，我知道，即使我們倆真的和好如初，我們之間的友情曾出現過的這條裂痕，是永遠都不能癒合的...
26-7-2012，星期四，我得到了學校歌唱比賽的獨唱冠軍及合唱亞軍，也因為這件事，高興不起來了...
經過這兩件事情的發生後，我漸漸的認為，友情，有時真的好像玻璃一樣脆弱。一旦被打破之後，它不但能使你受傷，還能在你身上烙下一道永遠都除不掉的疤痕...
一見就傷，一碰就痛...
友情，真的是脆弱、薄弱的嗎？
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